Sometimes I’m certain that I will never be whole until I meet Jesus. So this week, in a moment of needing to connect in the middle of the night, I went in search of a PTSD support group. Let’s face it – I’m basically a selfish person and I wanted someone to validate me at 3:00 a.m.! But I didn’t want to burden (again) those who so selflessly have given of themselves for so long to keep me going. So I went online. After all, you can find anything on the internet. What I found is breaking my heart.
I joined an online support group after looking at several. Most of the groups looked like bashing sites and I’m not into that so I kept searching until I ran across one that really is about supporting one another and making positive steps forward. I submitted a request to join the group and, after being accepted I have spent some time reading and re-reading some of the stories and looking at the faces. And I cry out to Jesus for these people.
In an instant my woes became as dust as I looked into these sad, lifeless eyes and read the horrible truths of their daily survival. More than anything I want to see them all healed. I want to see life in those eyes and smiles on those faces. I want to read about victories and picnics and vacations and happy lives. I want the Lord to give them their lives back and I cry out for mercy for them.
After reading some of the stories I no longer felt the need for validation – I felt the need for war! I perceive the broken lives I am looking at are the result of the work of demons – and I want revenge for their lives! I guess you could say I’m on the warpath. LOOK OUT DEVIL!
Some of the stories inspired me to speak directly with the authors and offer words of encouragement and to even share a bit of my victories. Just little things that might help them over a rough patch but with each message I left behind a little piece of my heart.
And now I am angry – angry at the devil and even more angry at the church! Where are you church people who claim to believe in Jesus Christ? Where are you and why aren’t you in here pitching with these people to get them set free from the bondage within which they are trapped? Why aren’t you coming alongside one of these and setting them free? Why are these people so lonely? WHERE IS THE CHURCH???
I wouldn’t presume to speak for Christ but I can tell you that if I were in HIS shoes I’d be fighting mad. A full one third of the earth’s population belongs to Jesus Christ, and if we belong to Christ then we are supposed to have His love and compassion operating in us. If that were so then there wouldn’t be a need for these kinds of web-sites. We’d be in the trenches with people that are hurting and they would have a person to go to who would stand with them and help them through their trials. But they don’t. They have PAID PROFESSIONALS who give them drugs for anxiety and depression and sleeping pills and offer no hope for healing. NO HOPE! How well I know that feeling.
Maybe these people, like me, simply didn’t want to burden those they know, but I don’t think so. What I was reading was desperation from people whose friends and family have told them to just get over it. Get over it. Well, they would if they knew how but there is no one helping them find a way out. So I am jumping into the fray and offering a way of escape through the Great Physician. I pray at least one will find hope and healing. If we would each reach just one . . . .
(Thank you, Sue, for reaching me!)
I love your article. I so love your heart. So sorry I have been away. I am now back. I saw you had a look at my blog post which was a long time ago. I haven’t done a lot of blogging. You sound amazing and are still the best writer. I feel for these wounded people myself. We attend a church here that we might not attend very much longer as it is now time to save the world and the pressure is on…which I cannot deal with at all. We love these people and they are so wounded but if pastor is not really on board for healing (It’s just another book on the shelf, the Father’s love being another one) and our hands are tied! I am so frustrated and so want the church to become God’s emotional, spiritual and physical hospital! My heart breaks for them! I’m with you here Joyce. Another question, did you take that photo of the horse and the ocean? It’s magnificent. I would like something like that for my computer background to remember everyday that in my weakness is His strength. Hope you are doing well dear one. Much love always
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Jeanne, it is so good to hear from you! Bless you for your kind words. I am glad you are recovering and hope to read more from you soon. The photo is actually a wallpaper I found when searching for reusable images. I love it because it reminds me that a horse, when properly trained, is an animal of meekness. The horse awaits his Master’s instruction — always ready to move as soon as the Master says to go, but never stepping out ahead of the Master’s instruction or lagging behind. Can’t you just see the two of them atop a great hill, outlined against the sky? The Master sitting on the horse’s back and the horse, alert, ears pricked up, nose catching the breeze, withers quivering, as it awaits the hand of the Master to tell him which way to go — whether to charge or walk, run or prance! I long to be that obedient to my Master!
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I love your perspective on God and life…it’s awesome. It’s interesting how 2 people can also be from the same family and not have any of the same memories! Wow! I hope I get to write soon, you totally inspire me. The reason I stopped receiving from your blog is that there were too many of them and I just was too tired to respond to the articles. Joyce you are the best and the Lord is so proud of you and all the work you have done on yourself and with others. Way to go ❤
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