A close friend asked me once, “don’t you ever get lonely?” I responded without even thinking about it– “No, I don’t”. Then, with her disbelieving look, I decided to reconsider and think about my answer. Do I get lonely? I searched in my recent memory and finally confirmed my previous answer —no, I don’t.
It’s true that I am alone. It doesn’t necessarily follow that I am lonely. I enjoy my alone time — what there is of it — and I enjoy my own company. I’m a busy person. Someone once said if you want something done, give it to a busy person. I like being busy and ministering the love of Christ to others. I like being out and about interacting with others, and I like helping people. And believe me, there are plenty of people around who need a helping hand!
I have chosen this solitary walk with Jesus. The pain and destruction of my past make being alone the most enjoyable of experiences. Even when I am alone, I am not alone–I get to commune with Jesus, resting in His presence and recharging my batteries for the next day’s adventures. It isn’t a lonely road — it’s a solitary walk. Occasionally someone will come alongside for a time, and we will walk and minister together. I enjoy those times, but no more than I enjoy walking and ministering beside Jesus.
Jesus said “Take up your cross and follow me,” (Matthew 16:24) not “form a posse and camp where you are.” I know that works for some people. I’ve observed people who must have an audience, and others who have to belong with a group. I’ve prayed with those who insist they need a mate — a life-partner to complete them and catapult their ministry (whatever it may be). I’ve listened to the “it is not good for man to be alone” and “two can keep warm” and “share one another’s burdens” messages. All really good stuff. Just not for me. Not now. I am not alone, I have Jesus. His presence keeps me warm and safe, and He carries my burdens for me. I belong to a group called the Body of Christ, and I assemble weekly in a place called church, often multiple times a week. I have a few very close friends and many acquaintances. For me, it is enough.
So I’ve said all of this to hopefully break through to someone who thinks they are incomplete without another person in their life. You are complete in Jesus Christ. And if you are searching for a mate to complete you or if you tell yourself that once you find a mate, then you’ll be happy, trust me when I tell you NO, you won’t. If you want to be happy with a mate, you must first learn to be happy in yourself and by yourself — content with your own company and completely at ease being alone. Find something that you love to do, and DO IT. Find friends that you can trust and enjoy their company. Get involved in something bigger than you are and find fulfillment in serving others. And perhaps, when you aren’t looking, that perfect mate will be standing right in front of you. But don’t live your life for that moment — live your life in a way that puts a smile on Jesus’ face!
Philippians 4:8 “And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”