Ever have one of those moments where you slapped your forehead in frustration as the light-bulb went on above your head? I seem to be having those quite a bit lately. But today’s was a doozey!
I spend a fair amount of time each day on my ‘spiritual’ side. You know: reading, listening, growing, and trying to increase in the knowledge of Jesus Christ. Usually these are such sweet, peaceful times that my days goes very well afterwards. And I guess my day went well after today’s session as well. It’s just that I have a lot to meditate upon.
A friend of mine told me this week that the Lord has been dealing with her about being slothful. She is the LAST person I would have picked to have that weakness so I quizzed her a little bit. It turns out, after listening to her describe what she was hearing in her spirit that she is, indeed, slothful spiritually. Well, never to be outdone, 🙂 I headed to Holy Scripture this morning, reading all of the verses that relate to sloth. After reading and meditating, I sort of tossed that aside as not a big hot-button for me. But we all have character weaknesses that need work and we are usually so blind to them that we miss it entirely. I laid aside my Bible and journal and focused on the Lord, asking Him to reveal an area that I need work in.
Guess what? He did. And IMMEDIATELY. I mean, I barely got the ‘Amen’ out of my mouth and my spirit lit up with the word ‘rebellion’.
Huh? Me? Rebellious? You’d have to know me pretty well to understand that I am a pussycat of the introvert variety. I’m not only a peace-keeper, I’m a peace maker! So this was a real shocker for me. I always obey. I mean, ALWAYS. How could I be rebellious?
I’m in the middle of a pretty tragic family situation right now that has been unfolding for two years. I have blatantly (forgive me, Lord) told Lord what I would not do. And the funny thing is, He has never contradicted me or tried to lead me down a different path. But you know us humans — we get the bit between our teeth and we think we know everything. So I assumed that this was the issue of ‘rebellion’ that the Spirit was impressing on me. After more prayer and meditation, guess what? Not so. This was not the issue. You want to know what it is?
You see, some years back I began work on a book. It was hit and miss because of work and then retirement and then travel and then….well, you get the picture. Early this year I felt I had received clear instructions on organizing what I have written for publication, and I got started. But then I stopped again, taken over by other projects and cares of this world. This is the rebellion that the Spirit was pointing to this morning. This rebellion relates to spiritual matters and since I know what the Lord wants of me and have not done it, I am rebellious! How do you like that?
No, I didn’t like it either. But, I do like the fact that I can go to the Lord with any question and if I will shut up long enough, He will answer me. Pretty neat.
And the book? Well, I have travel coming up but there won’t be any more travel scheduled until I get the book in a form I can give to an editor. It shouldn’t take that long. It will just take a little discipline. And a LOT of help from Holy Spirit.
I am at great peace again this evening as I bask in the forgiveness from the Lord that comes from true repentance. And no, He won’t have to tell me again.